Self Confidence...

I am ready to go back to work. I think. At least I'm ready to contribute to our financial situation, get away from the house occasionally and talk with other adults about more engrossing topics than pre-school. Most honestly though, I am ready for the ego boost that comes from doing something well and having others appreciate you. Let's face it, motherhood is a thankless job and we don't get to find out if we were good at it for at least 25-30 years! I'm really ready for a little more immediate gratification.

Unfortunately there are a few problems with my idea. The number one issue is that there aren't a lot of jobs out there right now and everyone wants the few that are. When you've been out of work for almost 11 years it is really hard to be much competition. The other issue I have is training and skills. I started working in a daycare when I was still in high school and moved to two different centers before "retiring" to have Trace 10 years later. I loved what I did, I was good at it and I worked my way up to a 'teacher'. It has been a long time though and I really don't want to go back to working with pre-schoolers again. As I've grown with my kids and realized that bigger kids aren't so scarry I find I have no desire to be back wiping noses (and backsides). Been there. Done that.

So, I have a two year general degree. Which means I am poised to jump into whatever it is I want to do. I could finish a four year degree in as little as two years. The whole world is out there waiting for me and I still am no closer to knowing what I want to be "when I grow up" than I was 15 years ago! Well, I take that back. Fifteen years ago I wanted to be a mom and wife. That was it. All I could think about was driving around with a baby in the back and being so happy. Ok, that's over so what's next? I guess I never thought that far. I never looked beyond what would happen once those babies were grown! Lesson learned - a little late.

If I could do anything right now I would love to be an everything person in the school. I like feeling needed and like knowing the kids and families. Helping with office work, assisting teachers, whatever. I know I would love that. Unfortunately I don't think that position exists. The schools don't have enough money to hire someone like that and if they did they certainly wouldn't pay much. My other choice would be to work with an adoption agency. Again, to be the everything person. Someone to run errands, go through paperwork, talk with prospective parents about adoption, whatever. There aren't many adoption agencies in our area though and I'm pretty sure the ones that do exist prefer people who have a college degree. What to do, what to do?